a thing of the past must always be in the past

i have learned my lesson..

yes.. after those trials and errors..i have learned my lesson..
things in the past stay in the past..you can never retrieve it..you can never ever do it, have it, regain it..
it was the past..PAST TENSE..
meaning it was already done..

the hurt the hate

the thing that really hurts the most is the reality that even though you hate him a thousand times you still know you love him a million times deep inside..

you may act like you don't care about a thing in his world..say things that hurts..ignore..but you can't escape the truth..it was just a cover.a mask.and now you hurt..you hurt more than he has..you may say his jokes are stupid and that he hasn't any sense at all..but that's it.. it was just a disguise. an angry disguise to hide what you really feel..

you now hurt. you hurt more than he has with those words you said.. it was painful to see him go and be with somebody else.but..you have to..you know things aren't meant to be.. disaster comes whenever you two are together..you can't seem to agree with the same idea..but the fact is you still ignore it..

he has gone..he has moved on.why can't you?

and now you feel alone in twilight..hoping somebody sees..somebody hears..somebody has a time to read..but it was just wishful thinking..things like this most not be noticed..things like this should stay hidden because if not then you shouldn't have written it here.. you should have posted it somewhere more public..but you know you can't things like these are like viruses..it kills softly..

just an act

it was just an act
but i felt it was real
it was fake
yet i believed it was true
when will we stop pretending
when will be true
to ourselves
 to each other
when will i stop wondering
if what your doing
and what you're showing
is what you really feel
tell me when
will these gray clouds
these strong winds go away..

confused with emotions

i am confused..
you always makes my world upside down..
and when i'm already acquianted with it..
you turn it upside down again..
you say things..
you tell me things..
but at the end of the day..
you take it back..
you make me confused
feelings become bizarre..
things upside down..
world turned around..
why can't you just say..
the truth..
what really matters..maybe then..just maybe..
bizarre feelings while go away..

caught in the middle

have you ever been caught in the middle? in the middle of two opposing forces which explodes in the slightest contact? have you ever been captured in one of those forces and that force keeps charging at you and blaming you just because you keep contact with the other force..? have you ever felt how hard it is to be caught in the middle and be the one always to blame..

it sucks..i hate it but what can i do? i am caught in the middle of fighting and those forces are my parents..i am always to blame..the rebel one they say..i try to understand things but do i always have to the one to blame? sometimes i could escape..i'd try to go somewhere far and live there peacefully..

one says i go for the money and the material things..i choose to understand and that's what i get..i am irresponsible..selfish..the black sheep..is it because i know more than i should and have been thinking for my own? is it because i choose to understand the other side?is it because i never yielded to what she wants?

never has anyone took my opinion on matters as important as that..and i thank that other side...that other force..if she only knew how to do such then i wouldn't be like this..she always thinks that i shouldn't meddle with her things..but isn't it unfair that she can meddle with mine? she always treats me like someone who doesn't know things..someone so sentimental and emotional that it affects the way i have been..

but look things first and see who i really am..have you appreciated me the way you appreciate other things and my sister?did you ever appreciated the craft i have been working on? or do you think it's just foolish blabbering of a child who doesn't really care? did you ever read between those lines? have you ever see through the me i use to hide?no because you were busy comparing and saying i am stupid and selfish..

i just wish you could read this..but then you wouldn't have time..all these things are nonsense..and a waste of time..

i'm over it..and soon i'm gonna be over you too..

so that's it..the end of a foolish feeling for someone..i've said it and he's so dumb not to know it's for him..and i've got the answer..

i'll stop now..let go of you..won't wish again..won't wait for that second chance..it will never come..i'm just wishing in the air..

i'm over you now..i won't look back..got to plan things in front of me now..won't stay and hope to change the past..

i'm done with this thing..this situation sucks..i'll move forward..no turning back..and if ever we meet again in one of the crossings of life..if ever we both are still available..and this feelings inside me is still there..maybe..just maybe that is the second chance i have been waiting..but for now..i know there isn't any second chance..there is any chance..

so goodbye for now..i hope someday we cross path again..

mahal kita..alam mo ba?

mahal kita..alam mo ba?
iniisip kita
iniintay kung kailan muling makakausap
iniintay ang sandaling ika'y muling magisnan
hinihintay na muling marinig ang iyong tinig

hanggang kailan ako maghihintay?
hanggang pangarap na lang ba?
hanggang sa panaginip?
hanggang sa alaala?

naiisip mo kaya?
nararamdaman?
na minamahal kita..
at ayaw kong ipaalam..

nahihirapan man ako
ito ang dapat gawin
ang itago ang pagibig
ang nararamdama'y itanggi

malaman mo sana
maintindihan ang sinasabi
at sana...sana nga'y pareho ng nararamdaman
at pinipintig ang ating mga puso